Interview with a Reluctant Celebrity

Hi everyone. Welcome back.

Today we’re going to have a little fun and interview the main character in my novel, The Terrible Strange.

This idea came from multiple “What do I write about in my blog when I write fiction, but I haven’t been published yet?” websites. At first I thought this was kind of dumb, but now I realize that it could be lots of fun. Plus, potential readers will get to know my characters better.

So here goes … Oh, and the interviewer is one of those “young and hip” entertainment journalists. Let’s call her Micki.

Micki: Today we’re talking with Jacob Grey, the protagonist of the bestselling novel, The Terrible Strange. Jake, how would you describe yourself? What do you look like?

Jake: What the fuck are you talking about? I’m standing right here, you tell me what I look like.

Micki: Uh, okay. Well, you’re good-looking, obviously, and wearing jeans, ripped jeans, and er, a nice, white tee shirt … and your hair is dark, and a little shaggy … and you’re carrying a green Jansport backpack.

 

 

 

 

 

Jake: Exactly.

Micki: So does the backpack mean you’re a student, Jake?

Jake: Why are you asking all these stupid, fucking questions? Of course I’m a student. I’m in grad school at UPenn. Is there a problem?

Micki:  Oh, no. No. Nothing like that. It’s just that … well, you don’t exactly strike me as the Ivy League type.

 

 

 

Jake: Wait, so, you ask me here to interview me for some stupid online magazine, but all you want to do is stereotype me? Are you trying to say I don’t look smart enough to go to Penn?

Micki: No! Of course not. I apologize. Really, Jake. I’m so sorry. Uh, can we please move on? I have to finish these questions. Please?

Jake: Fine. Go ahead. Ask your damn questions.

Micki: Can you name one thing you did as a kid that you’re most proud of today?

Jake: That’s easy. By the time I was five years old I knew how to pour a beer with the absolute minimum amount of foam on top. 

Micki: Er, okay. That’s wonderful. And how about the most embarrassing thing?

 

Jake: Are you kidding me? I’m not going to tell you that. I hardly fucking know you.

Micki: Uh, okay. How about this – Did you have a best friend when you were a child, and if so, what were they like?

Jake: My best friend is Maya Davenport. She’s fucking brilliant. She’s a grad student in physics, also at Penn. Her dad works for SEPTA, and her Nana is awesome. We’ve known each other, like, forever. 

Micki: That’s wonderful, Jake. It sounds like you two are still friends, is that correct?

Jake: Jesus. Yes, we’re still friends. I would have thought it was obvious from my use of the present tense when talking about her. How did you even get this fucking job? What are they paying you, because it’s obviously too much.

Micki: This is actually an internship, so I’m not getting paid.

Jake: Wow. It sucks to be you. How many more of these stupid questions are there?

Micki: There are 30 altogether.

Jake: Fuck.

 

Well, there you have it.

Jake is definitely one of those people who are fierce and prickly on the outside, but once you get to know him he’s all soft and squishy on the inside. 

 

 

 

Have you ever interviewed one of your characters? I’d love to hear about it!

Thanks for reading.

P.S. Let me know if you want Jake to answer any more questions.

So badass

Hi everyone.

While writing my novel, I’ve come to appreciate what badasses each of my characters is in their own way.

This got me to thinking about what exactly is a badass? How can you tell if someone has achieved the state of badassery? Or if they’re merely posers who wish they were badass?

Please note, these are my personal definitions. There are other definitions out there, but if you want to be a badass in my book, here’s the deal …

First off, let’s talk about who is NOT a badass:

  • Anyone who thinks being an asshole to other people is a sign of strength
  • People who are cruel to animals for ANY reason
  • Anyone who never stops talking about how badass they are
  • People who do cruel or questionable things simply to impress another cruel or questionable person
  • Anyone who breaks shit just for the hell of it, or who starts fights for no goddamn good reason

Now, how do we define a true badass? A badass is:

  • Not an asshole
  • Someone who doesn’t go out of their way to look tough. They ARE tough.
  • Kind to animals. Period.

 

 

 

 

  • True to themselves. They refuse to live inauthentic lives to try to impress others.

 

 

 

  • Someone who never preys on the weak
  • Never afraid to show kindness

 

How about you? Would you describe any of your characters as badasses? How so? Do you personally know any badasses? How does my definition measure up to yours?

I’d love to hear about it in the Comment section.

A rose by any other name

Hi everyone.

Today I want to share something from my current WIP.

One of the characters, Kostya, is Russian, and I am using Russian curses or insults wherever possible in order to give his dialogue some flavor.

It turns out, there are a LOT of Russian curses.

So here are a few of my favorites (so far). Please note, I’m not including the original Russian words, obviously, since that would require a Cyrillic font on my computer.

These are best spoken with a heavy Russian accent. Enjoy!

  • Durak – fool (starting off nicely. If you are easily offended, NOW would be a good time to visit some other blog.)
  • Govnyuk – shit, shithead (this was Vladimir Lenin’s favorite word, I’m told, so use it at your own risk)
  • Razyebi – a fuckup, a screw up (ah, this describes so many people I know)
  • Urodina – feminine: gargoyle (apparently, there are no masculine gargoyles? Who knew?)

  • Sukin syn – a son of a bitch (a classic)
  • Blyadina – a big-time whore (well, at least I’m a BIG-TIME whore, and not some nasty, little poser)

 

 

 

 

  • Huy – prick, dick, cock (that’s pronounced hoo-ey, ladies and gents and others)
  • Pizda – cunt, pussy, twat (is it just me, or does this sound a LOT like pizza?)
  • Zhopa – ass (well, what can you say after you’ve said zhopa? I mean, really?)

Well, let’s stop here.

There are SO MANY more it’s easy to fall down the rabbit hole.

Please don’t bother sending me hate over this. I’ve been in love with the Russian language since I was about 9 years old when I taught myself the alphabet. Don’t ask me why.

I would LOVE to know if you use words or phrases from other languages to give your characters some depth? If so, which ones?

Please let me know in the Comment section.

Thanks for reading.

Cheating is such an ugly word

Hi everyone.

What do you do when you want to write a blog post, but you have a hard time tearing yourself away from your other writing?

This. This is what you do.

 

 

 

 

 

Some people may think a post built around memes is cheating.

I prefer to think of it as deferring to someone who had the same idea as you, only they said it better.

Coincidentally, both of these speak to me on a very personal level.

Every time I sit down to write, I talk to myself in order to shake off the normal world and hopefully make the transition to the world of make-believe. It’s like a little pep talk.

And this is what I say to remind myself that writing is a terrible, horrible, wonderful way to live:

 

 

 

 

 

 

And …

 

 

 

 

 

What are some of the things you tell yourself when you write?

I’d love to hear about them in the Comments section.

Thanks for reading.